Godzilla vs. Kong! If you are reading this, congratulations and welcome to 2021! Welcome to the first blockbuster “event film” trailer of the new year. Welcome to a real reason to cut your brain off, if only for a couple hours, forget how much the real world is trash for a couple hours to watch CGI action noise happen on screen. When the folks that love a good “popcorn flick” were most in need, giant monsters are to the rescue.
Watch the Godzilla vs Kong trailer:
Sweet, sweet joy: let’s dig into this a little bit.
1. Foes and then Bros?
So, remember that one time that WB made a movie where Batman and Superman failed to have single logical adult conversation, but then teamed up to stab that ugly giant sentient booger? Well, I believe that is going to be the basic premise of this movie. Notice they keep alluding to the fact that “Godzilla doesn’t normally attack people like this” and “something must be controlling/confusing him”. Seem like perfect “it was all a misunderstanding” set up for a 3rd act team up.
2. Who’s the Villain?
If you believe the rumors (and want to try and make sense of split-second images in the trailer), there is a chance that we could be getting Mechagodzilla (as in a mechanical Godzilla). Imagine a Megazord, but Godzilla based. You may believe that Mechagodzilla is too ridiculous for the cinematic universe they have been building to this point. No one would actually use resources to build a giant Godzilla robot.
I agree with you, except here is a video of a functional 60-foot tall Gundam done simply because they could. Real life has heard your logic and dismissed it.
3. Big Battles
I deeply apologize for bringing this movie back up, but remember how Batman v Superman was called “Batman v Superman” but we didn’t really get that much Batman v’ing Superman?! Let’s not do that again. This trailer shows at least two different battle scenes. Please let there be more. Don’t spoil it in a subsequent trailer! Just let it be in the film!
4. The Humans
I’m sure that I love Millie Bobby Brown as much as the next person, it’s my prerogative (#puns #OldMillennialJokes #GetOffMyLawn). I do not, however, need to see too much of her face. Add every human character to that list. The last thing anyone want in the “giant monster slobber knocker” is to cut away to the human drama unfolding amid the chaos. No! No one cares. I promise you on everything I love. The second you cut away from Kong preparing to powerbomb Godzilla to check in on how little Jonny is handling his parents divorce, I am going to “BOO” from the depths of my soul!
5. Who Wins?
My money is on Godzilla by some sort of weird technicality. Yes, I know that there is that shot of Kong giving Godzilla the ole Nate Robinson special . I also acknowledge that it looks like Kong as some sort of nuclear blast absorbing baseball bat that he took upside Godzilla’s head like a monster-sized Twisted Tea. All that aside, this is still Godzilla. To even make a Godzilla movie, you have to sign away your first born and abide by a crazy set of rules. There may be a “No L’s” clause somewhere in the fine print!
Final Thoughts
This trailer delivers everything that I want out of this movie. The movie just needs to bring it home. Give us actual full-length battle scenes. Do not focus too much on the humans. Keep the surprises out of the trailer! Lastly, for all that is holy, don’t take it too seriously. Give us the knockdown drag out battle you’ve been promising all this time!
