Honest Thief is coming and frankly, I have just one question: why?! Look, I know Keanu is making this “older action star” thing look attainable and attractive in the John Wick franchise, good for him, but Liam Neeson felt well past his “action” prime in his last Taken film… six years ago. Hollywood will “Hollywood” I suppose.
Watch the new Honest Thief trailer:
Okay, what did I just watch?
1. The Premise
The more grounded a film is in reality, the more I need to buy into what’s happening on screen. That being said, this premise is insane. A career criminal decides to turn himself in so that he doesn’t have to lie to the love of his life. Is that romantic? Sure. Is it dumb? Oh, absolutely! Here’s a suggestion. Do not lie to her. Tell her the truth and donate the money if you feel so terrible. The FBI had zero clue who you were and where you were. Everything that happens in this film is 100% your fault for being a short-sighted sentimental sap!
2. The Money
I have further questions! You stole $9M to leave it sitting in a storage unit? How do you still have all the money? What were you stealing it for if not to spend? How are you this dumb and still managing not to have been captured yet? Maybe bank robbing is not actually that hard. :::takes notes – Re: student loans:::
3. Terminator
I will preface this by saying, I know that this is a very specific and highly irrelevant complaint, however Jai Courtney definitely shoots and presumably kills Robert Patrick in this trailer. The fact that a scene has been committed to film where the worst version of Kyle Reese murdered the T-1000 does not rest well with my spirit.
4. The Girlfriend
She is so down for the life once everything gets flipped on its head. He was concerned about telling her the truth, meanwhile she think’s it pretty cool that he knows how to blow things up. Mind you, he could have had a safe, non-hospitalized girlfriend AND $9M if he did not try and turn over a new leaf. I don’t think he actually knows this woman as well as he believes he does and again must question his decision-making abilities.
5. Taken
Just tell us this is secretly a Taken sequel and be done with it. Liam Neeson is using a “particular set of skills” to protect his loved ones. That is a Taken film. Look, M. Night already fooled us with Unbreakable/Split/Glass. I will not tolerate these sorts of shenanigans anymore!
Additionally, I’m honestly surprised Neeson was tapped for this style of film after his PR debacle while promoting Cold Pursuit. Maybe he should steer clear of the “vigilante justice” setting.
Final Thoughts
Honest Thief looks fine. I’m not exactly excited to watch Liam Neeson’s stunt double sell me on the fact that this 70-year-old man is evading the FBI for two hours, but there will probably be a scene or two that’s at least worth it for the memes.
