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‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ 7×12 recap: “Ransom”

Cheddar has been kidnapped!!!

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 7×12 “Ransom” aired April 16, 2020.

A heinous crime against Holt has been committed in this week’s episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine: someone dared to kidnap Cheddar the Dog! And, obviously, the owners of our favorite fluffy boy didn’t take it well… at all.

So, does Cheddar make it out alive? (It’s a sitcom. Of course he does.) Let’s see what happened in Brooklyn Nine-Nine 7×12:

“YOU TOOK THE WRONG FLUFFY BOY!”

Cheddar has been kidnapped, and Holt and Kevin are asking for Jake’s help to find him. To say they’re not taking the news very well would be an understatement — indeed, Holt is enraged, while Kevin is completely devastated, to the point that he can’t go back to the park where the dog got kidnapped without bursting into tears.

Everything there reminds him of Cheddar.

Recreating Kevin and Cheddar’s morning still happens to be successful, though, because Jake finds a surveillance camera that helps them to identify the kidnapper’s car and gives them an address where he and the dog might be.

Unfortunately, the place is empty when the police get there. The kidnapper, who wants some files about an arrest in exchange for the dog, asks for Kevin to do the exchange.

Holt doesn’t want to involve his husband, so Jake takes his place, learning how he talks and walks and switching clothes with him. The kidnapper can still tell that Jake is a cop, and even though Jake manages to free Cheddar, he ends up being kidnapped instead.

Since he’s wearing Kevin’s clothes, who had some trackers in his pockets for Cheddar, Holt manages to track Jake down and find where he is. After an amazing and so intense fight scene between Holt and the kidnapper, the latter finally gets arrested and Jake is free. He tells Holt that was he did was so cool (and, truly, it was!) but in return, Holt informs him that this wasn’t the coolest thing he did.

Actually, he inspired the plot of a whole movie in the past. Wow.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 7×12
Jordin Althaus/NBC

The Sleuth Sisters vs. The Boring Ex

Amy is going to be a mom soon, and she wants what’s best for her son: AKA. some fancy, expensive stroller she can win in a contest.

The winner of the contest is whoever will keep their hand on the stroller for the longest time. Rosa wants to join her to watch, but ends up being the one participating for Amy, because pregnant women aren’t allowed to take part in the competition anymore.

Apparently, something happened the previous year… but we’ll never know what.

The reason why Rosa wants to take part in the competition (apart from helping her friend) is that Teddy is part of the contest as well. As in, Teddy from Jazz Brunch, our favorite Pilsners lover… and most importantly, Amy’s ex-boyfriend.

It seems that he finally moved on from her, got married, and is also expecting a baby. And there’s no way Rosa is going to let him win. Except… Teddy has a superpower.

He’s boring. To the point that he bores everyone out of the competition with his stories. Still, Rosa manages to stay for more than 20 hours until she eventually gives up too, too exhausted to properly function. This is when Teddy offers to sell Amy the stroller for the right price.

When she asks him what it is, though, he bends down on one knee… and proposes to her. Again. Guess he hasn’t changed, after all.

So Amy and Rosa leave the store without the stroller. Amy offers Rosa to take her home after staying up for so long because of her, and that’s when Rosa admits that she already bought a (much less fancy) stroller for Amy’s upcoming baby shower.

Boyle’s Bone Broth

Jordin Althaus/NBC

Back at the precinct, Terry and Charles are ready to start their own business.

Indeed, when Terry feels too sore from his workout, Charles offers him to drink some bone broth. According to him, this family recipe helps with soreness.

If Terry is suspicious at first (they don’t exactly have the same workout routines, after all), he soon comes to realize that this bone broth does wonders on his body. He tells Charles that they could sell the drink — he even has a friend he could introduce their project to.

Charles gets so excited that he invests $11,000 in buying the domain name “WorkplaceBoneBuds.com” for their future company before they actually meet with Terry’s guy. Bad idea.

Because Terry modified the drink’s recipe a little, taking off one vital ingredient… which leads to some of the jars shattering during the presentation of their product.

So, of course, Terry’s friend passes on their idea. Thankfully for him, Terry knows someone who wants to buy Charles’ domain name, to start a website that helps people hook up with their coworkers.

“All I hear is friendship and broth.” Oh, Charles… Please, never change.

Some more thoughts

  • Let Jake finally beat Wario in the finale!!!
  • Terry seems like the kind of guy you want to be friends with. He knows people everywhere to help you out with whatever issue you may have.
  • So, “Indeed, indeed, indeed” is the new “Cool, cool, cool”?
  • Pregnant Amy is the cutest. I need to see more of her before we get to the moment she gives birth!
  • As a dog owner, I can totally relate to Kevin and Holt’s reactions. OK, mostly Kevin’s.
  • Speaking of Holt, this last fight scene was INTENSE. Probably the most intense fight scene in the show or even any sitcom ever.
  • That cold open… why does the show feel so up-to-date with our current events even without meaning to?!

Next week already is the show’s finale! Can you believe it?! This whole season went by so fast! Before that, though, hit the comments and tell us what you thought of Brooklyn Nine-Nine 7×12!

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Adèle Soutrenon

Adele is a college student who’s about to graduate in writing and translation. If she’s not writing about the TV shows she loves, she’s probably daydreaming about the TV shows she would love to write. From Brooklyn Nine-Nine to The Office or The Good Place and Parks and Recreation, you can say she’s a real fan of the "Schuriverse" and sitcoms in general. You can find her on Twitter @adele_sou – with all the TV shows she watches, there’s probably at least one you have in common with her.

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