I realize there a number of things competing for your time on Sunday night. And I therefore understand why you likely skipped Darrow and Darrow: Body of Evidence on the Hallmark Mysteries and Movies channel. I made a case for the channel as a whole on my own site a while back, but the third Darrow and Darrow film made a strong case all on its own. Here are six reasons you should reconsider your DVR activity the next time there’s a fresh mystery served up at Hallmark:
Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Tom Cavanagh Are Totes Adorbs
Remember when people used the phrase “totes adorbs” all the time? You know who never said “totes adorbs?” Me. I’ve never used it. Until now. I’ve always found it a rather obnoxious phrase. And yet, as soon as I laid eyes on these two filling up the small screen together, there it was. No phrase could better describe the flirty, playful chemistry between the two. And in Body of Evidence, not only do we get flirtatious banter over multiple cups of coffee and a couple of protein bars, but we also get to see Claire and Miles team up in the courtroom.
Admit it. The Flash isn’t the same without some version of Harrison Wells. You’ve been jonesing for a Tom Cavanagh fix ever since Savitar murdered HR (gone but not forgotten). Well, here you go. Darrow and Darrow gives you movie-length opportunities to see the HR-Ed-style Tom Cavanagh. The fast-talking, wise-cracking, witty Tom Cavanagh. And who doesn’t love Tom Cavanagh?
Wendie Malick’s Nina Van Horn Level Sass
The other Darrow of Darrow Squared is Claire’s mother, Joanna. Wendie Malick has been stealing scenes since she played Nina Van Horn in Just Shoot Me (if not before). But not since the late-90s sitcom have we seen the full tilt sass. Hallmark Mysteries brought in Wendie Malick, asked her what level her sass is turned up to these days, and said, “Why don’t you go on and crank it up a little more?”
Look, I realize I’m talking inside baseball when I bring up the appearance of Lillian the Librarian from the Aurora Teagarden movies. Only a true fellow Hallmark Mystery Movie convert would notice or appreciate, but try this sh*t on for size. Buzz McNab shows up in these movies as a police detective. And if you don’t know who Buzz McNab is …. Well, just f**k you and the clique you claim.
That Time Zoey Beat the Sweet F**k Out of a Dude
So Zoey works in the Darrow and Darrow office. She’s an ex-marine. It’s really not important. What is important is that Zoey is going to put a baseball bat in her SUV when the guy who lost out on the baseball bat at auction (don’t worry about it) comes up behind her with a gun (turns out to be a toy gun … it’s really not important). Zoey turns on this ne’er-do-well and pulls off some self-defense karate chop sh*t, smacking the gun to the ground. So this slimy little f**ker pushes Zoey in the stomach, she falls back against the spare tire on the back of her SUV (she’s looking to upgrade soon, don’t worry), and he takes off. Zoey waits for the cops to give chase and safely … NO! SHE F**KING DOES NOT DO THAT! Zoey takes off after the guy and flanks him as he tries to scale some rocks (I have no idea … there were just rocks … like boulders, kind of). She takes the dude down, flipping him over, and beats the sh*t out of him. In this turbulent time of toxic male masculinity, it was a glorious moment of television brilliance.
Too simple? Maybe. But look, there are not a ton of good old-fashioned mysteries on your television these days. The days of Matlock are no more, and somewhere deep inside, you miss those days. I get it. There was a lot on TV Sunday night–zombies and witches and magic and superheroes. But sometimes, we just want to watch a few (somewhat predictable, sure) twists and turns on the way toward solving a straightforward mystery. And no one gives you that better than Hallmark Mysteries and Movies. Fight me.