It’s Fall, y’all and you know what that means!!!! HALLOWEEN!!!! I love me some spooky, but I don’t do scary movies. Is that weird? Probably. It’s rare to find people who love Halloween, but hate horror movies. Luckily, Disney Channel gets people like me and they released the best Halloween movie franchise ever with *drum roll* the Halloweentown series.
Halloweentown is a fictional land in some alternate universe where it’s Halloween every day. The town is full of fun creatures from talking skeletons to ghosts and goblins. All the beings that usually scare the bananas out of you are now just awkward and sweet. I love it. I watch the Halloweentown series every Halloween and I induct at least 1 member a year to the tradition. In total, there are 4 movies and while they are all decently good, this is a ranking and we’re here to find the best and worst films based on overall quality and spookiness.
4. Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge
Sorry not sorry, Kalabar and son, but y’all should’ve kept to yourselves. Not only are you both the worst, but so is your movie in this ranking. Halloweentown 2 was slightly cringe-worthy because Marnie got distracted by a boy and let him into her grandmother’s room. That’s definitely spooky, but in a very different way. He promptly steals Aggie’s (RIP Debbie Reynolds) spell-book and tried to turn Halloweentown into a greyscale boring “human world” and Earth into a world-wide haunted house. It was particularly frustrating that the trick to undoing the spell was just saying apart backwards.
Kal did give us some spook when he spied on Marnie through the wall and tried to turn her mom into a creature. However, there was a lot of things that were just plain funny or cool. We found out that our missing socks end up in a monster hoarder’s house. Plus, we got to see Marnie do some solo magic for the first time and take her friend Luke on a totally rad broom ride. Sadly, it’s hard to feel spooked when you’re watching Aggie and Gort fold laundry in black and white.
Spook level: 4/10.
3. Return to Halloweentown
I was not anticipating how difficult ranking the Halloweentown movies would be. Return to Halloweentown is #3 on our list because of the cast changes. While, Sara Paxton was amazing, she wasn’t the Marnie we’re used to. Not to mention, Sophie wasn’t even in the movie. How do you miss a whole child in a movie where it’s basically life or death?
Anyways, Return to Halloweentown brought to life a bit of Grandma Aggie’s past. It was interesting to see how much her life changed and how she truly was a good witch. The Dominion was definitely spooktastic and so was the time traveling history lesson. We learn more about the Cromwells, but a lot of it was overshadowed by the rampant bullying at the University. Also, the whole Ssssinister thing was very annoying and could be considered the sole reason this movie is #3 on the list.
Spook level: 5/10.
I know, I know, who ranks the original movie as second? Halloweentown brought a whole new adventure to us Disney Channel kids, but was there a lot of substance? No. I’m still peeved that Marnie’s mom thought it would be okay to not tell her daughter she was a witch and wait for her magic to be stripped away on her 13th Halloween. You can’t just make a decision that big for your child. If anything, she should’ve taught her children magic and let them choose between using it or not when they got older. She was able to make that choice and so should her kids.
Okay, rant over, sorry. Halloweentown was a great introduction into the world of nice monsters. Sadly, showing monsters as nice isn’t exactly “spooky.” Side note: it seems odd that the entire town did not realize their friends were changing and then disappearing except for Aggie. If there was a town-wide pandemic, the spook factor would be through the roof. Also, how did no one realize Kalabar was evil? The man literally worked in darkness in his Mayor’s Office. His personal spook level is higher than the film’s. Anyways, due to this severe lapse in judgement by the entire townsfolk of Halloweentown, the first movie in the series is ranked #2.
Spook level: 6/10.
Kalabar’s spook level: 7/10.
1. Halloweentown High
Out of all the Halloweentown movies, this is a crowd pleaser because it actually touched on some relevant subjects. Kids from Halloweentown were, for the first time ever, allowed to go to school in the human world. We get to see them find their niche and make friends solely on their personalities and not according to what kind of creature they were. Dylan had a good dose of reality when he realized appearances are temporary and unimportant. It’s all about the heart.
We also saw a bit of the tension from centuries past when the high schoolers were threatened by the mysterious Knights of the Iron Dagger. An old Order meant to keep magical creatures out of the human world. The Knights definitely upped the spookiness with random attacks and moving armor. At the end of the day/movie, it was heartwarming to see everyone set aside their differences and see each other for who they truly are. That is the biggest reason why Halloweentown High is the #1 movie in the Halloweentown series.
Spook level: 7/10.
The Halloween season is upon us so make sure you buy your trick-or-treating candy and start prepping your costumes. You’re going to want to enjoy this creepy crawly fantastic holiday to the max. Let us know in the comments below which Halloweentown movie is your favorite or tell us on Twitter, @Pure_Fandom and @SuryaCherian!
(image: Disney Channel)