Hello, Lindi here. I’ve been sobbing hysterically for the past thirty minutes and my eyes feel like they’re on f*cking fire and I’m not sure I can go on with my life and I’m so empty inside. This was “watching Rose and the tenth Doctor say goodbye” level crying. Why, you ask? Because Liz told me I needed to watch all seven seasons of Buffy on Netflix (I didn’t really remember much from watching them originally), so that’s what I’ve been doing for the last two months. Guess what I watched tonight? The series f*cking finale. Should I have been watching The Vampire Diaries so I could write/tweet about it for the site? Yes, I should of. But I forgot because I was busy having my life changed forever by Buffy and Spike and the rest of the Scoobies. Oh, God. Anya…
I’m about to re-lose my shit. *composing myself* Let me break down my reaction to the season 7 finale for you.
At the beginning, they made me feel like everything was going to be OK. I’m 100% Team Spuffy and when she hands him the power-juice necklace, basically saying, “I think you’re a f*cking champion”, I thought it was all going to end with them being in love and things would be golden. Buffy could even admit to herself, and him, that she truly loves him and they could build a nice home somewhere in Paris. Little did I know, my dreams wouldn’t come true at all. *taking a breather*
Let’s move on to the main shebang at the high school/Hellmouth. After Spike and Buffy spoon and Buffy comes up with a plan and rallies the troops, it’s time to set it all in motion. Side note: Why was Buffy wearing such a basic-ass outfit when she was about to take on the apocalypse? This is the season finale! Khakis don’t cut it. I bet they wish they had Nasty Gal at that time. That’s like, prime slayer wardrobe right there.
Anyway, the whole gang is at the high school, including the f*cking prospective slayers who annoyed the shit out of me but proved helpful in the end. Xander, Willow and Buffy’s little moment walking down the hall was cute, but I don’t really care. All the vampires start emerging from the Hellmouth after Buffy and the gang open it with their blood, and the ass-kicking begins. Willow does a spell and turns every girl that could be a slayer one day IN THE WORLD into a slayer now. No time to waste! Then, Willow turned into Lady Gaga for a second which was neat.
So, all the prospective slayers start getting extra kick-assy. That’s f*cking fantastic, but then Spike’s Elizabeth Taylor necklace starts working and shines death rays onto all the bad vampires, wiping them out. Convenient! This ruckus starts bringing the whole school down, so everyone’s like, “Run. Run. Leave Spike behind to sacrifice himself.” Buffy stays behind for a second and holds his hand and tells him, “I love you.” Do you freaking know what he says back? DO YOU? “No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.” ARE YOU MOTHER EFFING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT? Then, Buffy has to leave before she dies, and Spike explodes in a freaking ball of fire and saves the day but also implodes the entire city of Sunnydale (probably killing a shit ton of people that didn’t leave town) while everyone else rides off on a bus.
Oh, but you know who else doesn’t make it? ANYA! My other favorite character. To top it off, Andrew (why the hell did he live over Anya?) tells Xander that she died saving him, to which Xander replies, “That’s my girl.” *queue the waterworks*
The freaking PRINCIPAL gets to live, though? Just… no. Then, Giles, Xander, Willow, Faith, Buffy, Dawn and Kennedy (who the French invited her to the apocalypse party anyway?) walk to the edge of the imploded town and they’re just like, “Buffy, what are we going to do next?” And she grins. HOW DARE YOU GRIN AT A TIME LIKE THIS? Spike should be standing next to her and everyone else should just be on the bus, watching because they are just bystanders in the epic story that is Spuffy. Yes, Liz told me Spike comes back in Angel to try to calm me down, but I don’t really care if he can’t be with Buffy. WHAT’S THE POINT OF LIVING?!
So, then I cried for about 30 minutes (maybe an hour) and scared the shit out of my dogs (who I’ve been in the process of retraining to think their names are Buffy and Spike – it’s working). Buffy was just so beautiful and life-altering, and I don’t know what to do with myself now. How do I go on?! Liz, I blame you for everything.
Now excuse me while I go back to hysterically crying and queue up season one of Buffy on my iPad.