It’s hard to believe that after 7 seasons of Sookie Stackhouse and her supernatural adventures, True Blood has finally come to an end. While the season was jam-packed with touching moments, it certainly wasn’t void of its pitfalls and short-comings. Here’s how the True Blood season 7 report card shakes out, with all the brutal honesty you’ve come to love from TeamTSD (we’re guessing). Let’s breakdown some of the most important elements of the season.
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
(all photos: HBO Network)
1. The Hep-V Story Line
Grade: C-
Here’s why: The Hep-V vampire-gang plot only lasted half the season, and thank Billith for that. The roving band of infected vamps seemed like a serious threat at first – hey, they killed Tara after all – but after a while, I was confused by their timed naps and odd eating schedule. I was also slightly confused how they demolished entire towns of humans without the FBI/CIA/FEMA/Army/Oprah/Anyone at f*cking all stepping in to control the situation. I also failed to understand why the terrified citizens of Bon Temps who didn’t want to stay and fight for the town, didn’t just leave during the day time. They acted like they were trapped there. Because of these epic logic fails, I can’t grade this plot any higher than a C-.
2. Everything Pam and Eric
Grade: A+
Here’s why: The saving grace of this season was Pam and Eric. They lit up every single scene they were in together. Between Pam’s sassy one-liners, the flashbacks that revealed their unwavering and deep bond, seeing them attend a Republican gala in sequins and a bolo tie and watching them choose one another over everything else, Pam and Eric’s scenes were hands down the best part of season 7. Every scene between these two was indeed a memorable moment. Not only did they make me laugh the most, they made me feel the most as well.
3. Sookie’s Love Life
Grade: C
Here’s why: Sookie’s love life is, and always has been, one of the main focuses of the show. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest because who doesn’t love a good love-story, and that’s pretty much what all the books center around anyway. I enjoyed watching Sookie’s short time with Alcide, mostly because it was refreshing to see her in a semi-normal relationship after everything she’d been through. Plus, let’s face it – we got to see Alcide shirtless on multiple occasions and who would complain about that? After Alcide’s death though, things stopped making sense. They pushed Sookie toward Bill again, and then threw Eric into the mix randomly. Sook had one episode where they toyed with her emotions for Eric, and then all of a sudden, she was madly in love with Bill again. Her rekindled love for Bill was a lot to push into a few episodes and make believable. Sook helping Bill kill himself in the series finale would have packed a much bigger punch if they had spent the majority of the season in a relationship. I can’t exactly put my finger on what was lacking here for me – it was just lacking something.
4. Tara and Lettie Mae’s Bullshit
Grade: F
Here’s why: Every single time Lettie Mae came on screen, my eyes rolled so far back in my head, I thought they might get stuck that way. Here’s my beef. The way they killed Tara off was f*cking underwhelming and she deserved so much more than that. I understand they wanted to make it realistic and show that anyone can die when you least expect it (hey, that’s life, right?), but I should have been upset or angry or something. Instead, I felt nothing. That’s the same way I felt about Alcide’s death – nothing. Then, they kept popping Tara up in Lettie Mae’s drug-induced states, leading me to believe they were going to do something awesome with her before the season ended. Instead, all it led to was a mediocre send-off for one of our most-beloved characters. It’s hard to give a shit, even when it’s a beautiful goodbye, when the character died several episodes ago. And it’s irrelevant that Lettie Mae got closure when her character didn’t matter to us in the first place. #SorryNotSorry
5. Hoyt and Jessica
Grade: A
Here’s why: To be honest, when they first brought Hoyt back into the picture, I was highly annoyed. I wanted J-Stacks and Jessica to live happily ever after. However, the way they showed Hoyt being drawn to Jessica again naturally, and Jessica’s giddy behavior when she was around him, was pure magic. Their love for each other in the last few episodes of season 7 was palpable, timid and organic amidst all of the other depressing shit going on. One of my favorite scenes of the season was watching Jason tell Bridgette about Hoyt and Jessica’s love story. Flawless. Don’t even get me started on that wedding scene in the final episode. *pushes back tears* It was a truly innocent and human moment, something True Blood rarely delivers.
6. The Finale Episode, “Thank You”
Grade: B
I’m going to state my only issue before I dive into the good stuff. Why the hell wouldn’t Bill just ask Sook to help stake him instead of asking her to waste her fae-light in the first place? Am I missing something here? Whatever. Critics and fans tore the finale episode apart. I, more than anyone, am overly critical and harsh on shows, but I think the True Blood season 7 finale episode deserves a little more credit. It wasn’t mind-blowing. It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t bring me to tears, or bring me to my feet. But it said something. It made its point – and that is, that life goes on. Bill died. One of the biggest parts of Sookie’s life ended – and her life went on. A new chapter began, and she was OK without him, just like Bill knew she would be. Bill was done with this life. He’d seen and experienced enough. Bill is an important, but a brief chapter in Sookie’s life, and I think that was a very realistic way to end the story. Plus, Eric and Pam offing the Yakuza, filming an infomercial for NewBlood and pimping out Sarah’s blood in the basement of Fangtasia was perfection. Long live, Pamela and Eric!
True Blood Season 7 Overall Grade: C
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As talented as the actors are, and as fun of a ride as it was these past several years, it is time to bid adieu. Do you agree with TeamTSD’s report card grades? I’m choosing to believe that one day Eric and Sookie will end up together. Hey, a girl can dream.
If you’re not ready to say goodbye to the world of True Blood, I strongly urge you to check out the book series by Charlaine Harris. After the first book, there are minimal similarities between the show and novels. It’s essentially a whole new story! You won’t regret picking them up.
For the very last time… #FangsOut
