(image: Gilt City/The CW)
This week’s The Originals episode, 4×21 “The Battle of New Orleans”, took our hearts and ripped it in half. Then, it tore those halves in half, then it took those fourths of our hearts and ripped them into eighths…OK, you get the picture. Julie Plec, we love you, but you’re killing us. We just need a few simple things to happen, and we’ll be good.
1. The baby to live. This is a must. Why? Because it’s Klaus’ baby – it’s like the Moses of vampires. We have to let him/her live. Plus, how awesome would it be if we had an episode where the baby burped all over Klaus, Elijah changed the diaper, and Hayley sat on a bedazzled throne in the quarter just reigning queen like every fierce bitch should.
2. And for it to get a classy name. Lord help me, if they name that baby something f*cking off-the-wall and ridiculous like Renesmee, I’m going to be pissed. Who knows if it will really be a girl or boy, but it’s supposed to be a girl. They better pick something classy as hell like Charlotte, Victoria, Violet or Lady Elizabeth Cosette Beatrice Mikaelson.
3. Hayley and Elijah to officially be BF and GF. I understand that Hayley is prego and currently in labor and that Elijah is noble and all, but they’ve kissed twice and they’ve pretty much admitted that they are in love with each other. With the fall of the Mikaelson empire drawing near (let’s be serious, #yeahright, the Mikaelson’s won’t be taken out by B-list supernatural creatures), they should at least get their chance.
4. Klaus to not be tied to some jank-ass moonlight spell. Klaus is the most powerful immortal creature on the planet, he can’t be attached to that spell Genevieve cast to allow werewolves to draw their power from him on a full moon. Also, thanks to Davina, Mikael may be coming back, so Klaus is going to need all the strength he can get.
5. Davina to buck the f*ck up. Davina, Davina, Davina. What are we going to do with you? Before you bring back Mikael, the most dangerous man EVER, why don’t you look at other options first. Have you ever thought of just doing a simple locator spell to find Klaus and remind him that he promised to save Josh? Did you ever think that maybe Klaus isn’t just an asshole and got into some trouble with Genevieve? Know who your enemies are, Davi. Ugh.
6. Marcel to get over it. Marcel is way too hot to stay mad at, but I still want him to quit his bitching and move on already. So you lost the city of New Orleans to your superior/father/creator. Who cares? Give up the fight and just rule alongside him. You know what they say – when life gives you lemons, cut them up and put them in your vodka soda.
7. Rebekah to come back. I miss Bex a lot. Like, more than I missed Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food when I tried to do the Zone diet for 2 weeks (I failed). Nothing would make me happier than to see Bex swoop in wearing an Elie Saab romper from the Spring Summer 2014 collection, kill all of the witches (not Davina) and save the day.
Oh, and for any of the male leads to take their shirts off. Well… that pretty much sums it up. Tell us what YOU want to see happen in the season one finale! And don’t forget to watch the season finale of The Originals LIVE this Tuesday on The CW. #FangsOut